rachshan's Xanga

Being Misunderstood

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 17:10:16 GMT

I didn't choose to be what I am today... I am still learning from everyday experience & it is very helpful.

I didn't choose to be a dominant kinda' person...I didn't choose to be bossy and I don't consider myself so!

If it is something I care or am asked to do, I will put in my all to carry it through... If you ask me to go for a meeting, I'll do my best to come planned. If you don't know your stuff, I'm not the kind to tell you off...

Today, I had a good time with friends and loved ones.. BUT, after a meeting held this week, I felt something was wrong. Today, I found out the reasons to it. The fact that I'm a much closer friend to one party makes it look as if the person defends me.

Well, apparently, during that meeting that was held few days back, I was considered a person who is bossy, who talks authoritatively, who talks as if everyone else is useless and stupid and only I know my thing, who talks as if she talks to a small kid, etc... I was shocked to hear this because I had no intentions what so ever to be judged in such a manner...

Yes, I am direct - that includes facial expressions & speeches... especially if the need is there to be direct. I was told it's a meeting - so I be professional and carry out my role in the best possible way with no intentions to hurt anyone. I guess, there's NO WAY in satisfying everyone. If people can't accept me - too bad for them...

I know that no matter how much hurt I am by hearing this, eventually I'd hv forgiven and carried on with life. But, I'm at a situation now where I feel really sad that the first meeting ONLY and I've already offended people... No where to throw my frustrationa! No point explaining myself...! Best was chill with friends & 'screwdrivers' but I can only pray and ask God to help me to face such people/friends again.... Cos, there's bound to be more meeitings!

I would indeed give my best BUT if people can't accept it - i guess the decision is up to them!

I'm feeling quite hurt & troubled at this whole issue hence this entry... Plus, the night was supposed to end well but I guess all good things have a possibility of ending slightly badly! :(

If you ever read this, my apologies to you! I seriously DIDn"T INTEND on hurting you or anyone else/.. I can't believe you considered me as such a person. As far as I can remember, I spoke like how I usually speak. If you can't accept me, it's ok... I will understand. If you think I should change, I guess it's my nature and I've been produced and trained to be like this so you'll have to bear with it... I'm sorry!

Just needed a place to thorw out my thoughts and I guess this is the best way!

rgds,
Shanti

Monday, February 16, 2009

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:29:28 GMT

Financial Accountability
(of orphanages)
This is particularly my thoughts and views.... And I don't intend in hurting anyone with this entry.

The above mentioned subject is something that is meant to be found in any company, be it corporate bodies, government sectors, churches, orphanages, SME's, small businesses, home businesses, etc... I, being a B.A. (Hons) Accounting grad from a UK university (twinning with INTI University College, then known as INTI College Malaysia) realised this was an important topic and did a reasearch on it. My research was entitled : "A study on the Financial Accountability of Orphanages in Selangor" and I realised it was important that even orphanages needed to have audited accounts that are according to proper Financial Reporting Standards & Formats to ensure transparency, trusts, honesty and ethics.

I'm proud to say that Desa Amal Jireh (DAJ), the orphanage founded by my parents have their accounts audited internally and externally as well. A copy of it is also sent to the State Welfare yearly for them to examine before they can give their support. I realised that our many supporters would prefer to know that their funds are put to good use and are sent to a trust worthy organization. By saying, I AM NOT saying that other orphanages are not following the proper accounting procedures so please do not quote me wrongly.

The entrance to Desa Amal Jireh

DAJ has been in operation for the past 24 yrs and I am VERY VERY thankful to our Heavenly Father for being our Jehovah Jireh - Our Provider. It is with FAITH my parents took the step to start this home and I can tell you that GOD has seen the home through THICK & THIN and HE has over and over again proved to be a GOD who doesn't FAIL. Humans may fail us but GOD never will.

My beautiful, God-loving, Compassionate parents

God has been blessing the home and also my family. The Bible said God loved the poor, the needy, the blind, the lame, the deaf, the prisoners, the strangers, etc... ALL OF THEM were/are/will be special to Him. And, when a person touches the heart and shows care, love and concern to these special people, God's heart is touched, and in return, His blessings is poured upon them.

My good buddies who are very helpful & supportive as friends... This was taken outside the TA-DAJ Multipurpose hall.

My mum (the Director) was an accountant for 20 over years before she resigned to fully concentrate on the daily operations of DAJ. Dad (the Chairman) was a full time Senior Pastor, ordained minister of The Assemblies of God Malaysia, a Principal of the Malaysian Tamil Bible Institute before he resigned to further concentrate on DAJ. Both my parents are very ethical and make sure they follow the rules or guidelines as much as they can. At the end of the day, the Bible & God is the one that will judge if they were good people. They both love the Lord very much and always put God first before anything else. Both of them also have a vast experience in the Accounting & Finance background, as such, they make sure that DAJ follows proper Accounting Standards.

Since it was them who started DAJ, they made sure they DO NOT take any salary from the home. Both my parents are smart and people always ask me where do they get money to fund my brother & my education OR how do we even live in this world where money is a necessity for everything. The answer is SIMPLE! They used to save up when there was a monthly salary coming in those days. They bought education insurance for both Reuben and I and that came in handy when I was studying. Dad still preaches and he gets love offering. Churches put us in their missions programme and support us monthly. All we do is live simple lives and God sees us through.

My family

God always grants the desires of your heart and every Christian know's that. For HIM to grant your heart's desire, you need to learn to put HIM first in all you do. Our family love to travel and we travel A LOT as a family. God provides for our needs. NO, we don't take money from DAJ because that money is for the children & the daily operations of the home, such as, Staff salaries, utility bills, school expenses, food, clothings, pocket money, etc... Ask any parents how much they'd need to take care of growing children, they'll tell you that it takes a lot and with such economic situations, it can be expensive. Most families may have 2 children at average and they may already say its expensive. Please multiply that with 100 children and 13 senior citizens and you'll know how much is needed daily. Our montly expenses come up to RM85000/mth. So, to my parents, they money is not for themselves to spend. They have the children at heart.

Dad bringing some pastors & the previous General Superintendent of AG M'sia on a tour around DAJ

Any company gives benefits to their Chairman and Directors, similarly, DAJ's Management Committee (consisting of various responsibe people who work in the corporate sectors but have the passion for the poor & needy) approves of certain benefits for my parents as well. ie: rental, utilities, entertainments, transportation fee, etc... It's only fair that they get these benefits as well. :)

Recently, my dad was blessed with a car. It is a MERCEDES BENZ. It may not be the latest version, but it is still a MERCEDES BENZ. He found it hard to drive it around because it may cause an uproar amongst certain supporters or even people in the home. For some time, I was the one driving the car and he refused to drive it. After much advice from the Management Committee, friends and loved ones, he decided he will drive it BUT he will put the DAJ logo on the doors. In that way, it shows that it's a DAJ car although it was NOT bought with the DAJ money. If you don't belive, come ask me, I'll tell you where the car came from and who gave us the car. You can speak to the person directly and ask him why he gave us the car. It saddens my heart if people can comment that the Chairman driving a Merc = not showing concern to the home or children's welfare or even considered utilizing home finances. Again, it's for GOD to judge.

The Mercedes Benz without the DAJ logo.

I thank God for his countless blessings for the home as well as our family. I thank God for granting continuous wisdom, strength, good health to my parents to run the orphanage. IT IS NOT EASY at all. If for any reason you don't believe me, why not try working as a staff for 1 month and tell me how it is. I'm thankful for the staff in DAJ who have been there showering their love and care upon the children. And most importantly, I love the children because they are family and they bring joy to our lives...

My point of this whole long entry was to say that my parents are ethical and they make sure the home is as well, be it,financially or any other way. However, there are people who may be jealous because the home has been sustaining with God's Providence for so long and are waiting to attack at any slightest possible way. Just a reminder to everyone: NOBODY IS PERFECT! TALK ABOUT PERFECT=ONLY GOD IS. BEFORE THINKING OF RUINING ANYTHING OR FINDING FAULTS WITH PEOPLE, REMEMBER THIS FAMOUS PHRASE QUOTED BY JESUS: "LET HIM WHO HAS NO SIN, CAST THE FIRST STONE". IF DISCIPLINING CHILDREN IS A SIN - HERE'S A PROVERB: " SPARE THE ROD & SPOIL THE CHILD". If you think it is so easy to run an orphanage, please do go ahead and open one and then tell me all about it after one year... :)

My adorable kids...

I have still so much to learn and I know my burden is to carry on the good work my parents have started. I am learning and still learning and will continuously learn. Everyday is a learning process and every child or senior citizen that comes to DAJ can teach me something... I will only take over my parents position when my parents slowly hand it over to me. As for now, I will serve alongside them and learn as much as I can with God's leading & guidance. Oh, did I say, I WILL NOT TAKE ANY PAY/SALARY as well from DESA AMAL JIREH because I don't want to. That's why I will be working to save up (still looking for a fulltime job) for my future and the rest, I'll leave to God to settle. Let HIM be my Jehovah Jireh and provide me with a good hubby (not getting married anytime soon & no one in the picture yet so don't hv to ask me lar ;)), financially and in everyway possible as I learn and make sure I put HIM first in all I do.

more of them...

Sorry to bore you. If you read to the end, thank you. If you gave up, it's ok... I Don't think I'll write anything this long anymore... There's so much I can write but I've also got a lot of other things to do and I can't bore you. Talk to me, I'll tell you more! Just felt very troubled and I felt I had to clarify matters, things that may be bugging certain people. As I said, I've friends asking me about the above mentioned issues, hence, an entry for your reading pleasure. Sorry for any grammatical errors... brains thinking faster than fingers.

A Big THANK YOU to all who have been supporting Desa Amal Jireh. You've been a blessing to the HOME and God will Bless you! Please continue to support and keep us in prayer. Love you guys... Thank you!

With love,
Shanti

Destination Romance Malaysia

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 05:30:30 GMT

David’s Bridal “Dress Your Wedding” Contest

Sponsored by Visit David's Bridal

Please help to vote Jeanette & John!! :)

Monday, September 29, 2008

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:12:20 GMT

Appearing in our Local Newspapers...

It's not always you find yourself or your friend in the newspapers. Jeanette, wrote about me and my involvement with DAJ and sent it to Brats to put it in the STAR Newspapers...

and.... it was a really good and well written article!

You can have fun reading it here.... you can click this and it'll bring you to the Star Online website!

Enjoy....and thanks Darling for the well written article :)

Friday, August 29, 2008

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:07:09 GMT

2nd time going on stage for less than 15 seconds and back down....

that's xactly wat you call a
GRADUATION/CONVOCATION!

My day started very early and I knew that it'll be a very boring ceremony! The excitement of going up the stage, collecting the cert, walking down the stage and seeing the happiness in my parents faces was probably the only thing I was looking forward to.

We had to sit through a ceremony that started at 8.40am and went right on till 1.40pm! I was hoping I could escape the hall but we're just humble graduands and not prominent VIPS' like the YangDi Pertua Penang and others...

I didn't feel like inviting anyone cos it's a waste of time waiting outside the Hall for me to come out and take pictures. PLus, not everyone like attending graduation ceremonies. I am that kind of person... I know I will go for my friend's graduation UNLESS I really can't make it. But not everyone is like me... So, to not make them feel guilty, the best is, not to invite or mention about it. Plus, can save $$, no need to buy me flowers or gifts ;)

So I'm sorry if I didn't invite anyone. I only mentioned it to people who asked me. Winne and ANeeta wanted to come but I know they're both busy so it's okie they didn't make it...

Enjoy the LITTLE pics taken on that day.... (and sorry for the super duper delayed reply!)

Sheela, Shanti, Chan & Badrul

my thesis partner

with our Indonesian friends

they are such a nice bunch of people...

The Chancellor aka the Yang DiPertua Penang

Proof of Boredom - see the guy yawning ;)
and finally the ceremony ended! PTL!!

You see, as soon as I'd gotten my cert, my parents actually left the hall and went for makan and lepak'ed around... So now, I had to go out looking for them.

Sheela, Pei Leng and I... they were of such great help to me! Thank you!!

Sheela & I

With Uncle RIcky and wife. They were there for their son's convo.

My family

As we were leaving, we bumped into Joel, so we took a pic with him too... hehe

So that was my convo day. We went for lunch at Secret Recipe and I went home and konked out!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:52:33 GMT

I'm BLESSED....

Finally, in about 9 hours time, I'll be officially an MBA graduate!

Yes... I (we) passed my (our) thesis and they've approved us to graduate. It's indeed a joy and a relief. One thing for sure, God was always with me - all the way - throughout the many moments... preparing for exams, completing assignments, multi-tasking studies with work, church, ministry, events and DAJ.

So, I'll be in UNITEN at 7.30am to prepare for the excitement of being an MBA grad, yet, it's gonnna' be one long and suffering ceremony! I'll reserve my comments about this ceremony till after it AND you might see the article in the newspapers! (a bonus of having studied in a Private College, Semi-Government University and worked in an International and World Class Uni!)

Another blessing from God is something I'm quite speechless about. The thing is, I don't plan on working till NEXT YEAR cos I'm planning on going for holidays with my family. However, to not simply waste my time - I'd decided to look for part time jobs/temp jobs upon completion of my Piano Exam (yes, my grade 7 exam was held on 18th Aug and that's another topic to talk about.... ).

I did tell God my plans and surrendered to HIM. I was also working on updating my resume. I guess God's timing and ways are always higher than ours. On Friday, I got a phone call from Uni of Notts (my previous company) Financial Controller asking me to come in as a temp staff. We discussed matters and I accepted it. I get paid by the hours I work, I get full flexibility where I can come in any time I like and leave any time I want - just as long as I complete the tasks given, etc... The Financial Controller happens to be a friend too and a good boss so I'm blessed! It's kinda' hard working in the Finance Dept as its something new but atleast I know my BA (hons) in Accounting hasn't gone to much waste! hahaha...

Anyways, I shall stop here altho' I can go on and on.... It's late and I need my beauty sleep and prepare for convo tmrwww...

Take care people...Till I blog next! (hopefully with pics...)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 14:15:48 GMT

8 hours of heat & darkness...

My days have been spent sleeping, studying music and chilling with the kids.

It was one of days yesterday (Saturday), where I had tea with the boys and then headed over to the girls apartment to chill with them whilst the boys were playing football at a nearby field.

When suddenly, we realised the fan stopped turning. We then realised that there was not electricity (it was 5.45pm). Thinking it'd be only for a short while, i went ahead to fetch the boys from football and came back only to realise that the electricity still wasn't back yet. As such, I decided to call the famous number ie: 15454 to lodge a complaint.

TNB (Tenaga Nasional Berhad) is the Electricity company in Malaysia. The complain was lodged to them and its now up to them to determine the problem. The advantage of having studied in UNITEN (University Tenaga Nasional) was having coursemates who worked in TNB. Plus, this classmate of mine is also in charge of the Semenyih area. As such, I managed to get proper updates from her to the situation on the breakdown as compared to calling 15454.

In the end, she promied me that they'll send a GENERATOR SET cos it's probably because they still hadn't managed to determine the cause of the fault. By then, it's been 4 hours of heat and darkness coupled with mosquitoes!

The kids and I hung out first until we realised that the safest is to get all the kids into their own houses to avoid anyone from getting lost. Having sent them in, I felt lonely. It was pitch dark in my house and I was alone. So I decided to go out for supper. When I came back, it was still DARK! By then I knew the generator set was on the way so dad asked me to keep awake and ensure everything is in order before hitting the sack.

That's exactly what I did. Sat outside my house, thanking God that the MOON was quite bright so I didn't have to use my torchlight much and waited till the generator arrived with TNB staff.

Finally after an 8 hour wait, the generator is up (on a temporary basis) and the kids managed to sleep without mosquitoes bugging them. Attached are pics of how the generator looks like. It'll be here till the fault at the power station is solved. It's noisy but it's better than nothing.

I'm assuming that these generators are from TNB's outsource company

That's power station in DAJ but the fault is probably due to piling work done in certain parts of Semenyih which may have damaged underground cables!

the cable joined to the iron bar. That signifies that "EARTH" is there?

Well, the LEAGUE is starting!! Which league u may wonder - BARCLAYS PREMIER LEAGUE! So, you'll be seeing more of me mentioning about Manchester United!

I know if owe you people a long entry on my Opening ceremony of DAJ but sorry lah, I need to choose the pics first. I'm going off for now cos the 2nd half of the Community Shield has just started!!

Till I blog next!

yea, we're all MAN UTD supporters!!!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 10:15:48 GMT

Am in the midst of preparing the kids for our Opening Ceremony this 26th Jul. The kids will be officially known as "Jireh Jewels" from now onwards. So whenever people invite us, we'll be known as "Jireh Jewels"! haha...

Well, apart from preparing them, there are other things to do for the home. It was kinda' stressful last week. Yesterday evening, one of our Senior Citizen (SC) passed away and parents couldn't be here the whole time. Dad managed to do most things like getting the burial permit and all but it took a long time for the Late SC's family to decide on who will be handling the burial. Hence, my parents went home and left me to take care of the situation (since it was getting late).

Finally after the body had left DAJ, I got a few others and we cleaned up the late SC's bed, cupboard and room. Disposed whatever necessary and kept whatever should be kept. Upon completion, we then said a prayer for the rest of the Senior Citizens and we left.

I felt soooo tired and was having a slight backache. So I had a shower and just lay down on the bed... It felt nice just lying down and resting! haha...

This week will be spent practising with "Jireh Jewels" and making sure every performance is up to its best! Friday nite, will be rehearsals. Nettez and Winne would most probably stay over at my place. Nettez is our Official Photographer and she's bringing her assistant. Winne's my personal official photographer! hahaha....

Anyways, just to say, things are good on my end. Got to go peeeps!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 16:00:11 GMT

EMO POST (yes, no matter at what age I guess it still happens!)

For those (my friends) who got invitation for the Desa Amal Jireh Opening Ceremony which is on July 26th 2008 (Saturday), if you can't come, it's ok! Please don't force yourself to come just because I called you or sms'd you about it.

Don't satisfy me.... Don't waste your time coming all the way if it's of no importance or no interest to you! I don't wanna' force anyone to come. DAJ is something special to me and if it isn't something special to you, please don't force yourself to come for it just because of me. Come because you love my kids, you love to help (one day) or because you sincerely want to come!

On another note, I came home pissed, sad, hurt, angry,and guilty BUT I didn't know who to talk to! So much running through my mind but I scanned through my list of friends and realised there really isn't anyone I could talk to!

INSTEAD, I knew one person who will always be there to listen to my cries! Yes, I may have been wrong! No, I may not have been wrong! but whateve it was, HE is and always will be there to hear and forgive me! I may be wrong to have raised my voice in anger BUT It's NOT my fault if you got angry at me?!??!?! so... I'm obviously gonna' defend myself instead of getting scolded or called names! How on earth am I supposed to know that you were angry at me???!?!? cis....

At the end of the day, I'm only human and I always fall! What more, being a Saturday, eve of Sunday! Devil ALWAYS likes to cause frictions to us a day before the God's day!

Anyways, all said and done. I know it has to be solved altho' it ain't something big! I should seriously just learn how to SHUT UP and not talk back! I shall seek HIM and in the mean time go to bed cos I'm having a throbbing headache!

ps: I just realised this could be PMS! I'll be able to confirm it within the next few days....

Friday, July 18, 2008

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:28:40 GMT

Perhentian Island, Scuba Diving & us(me)!!

*i just typed a realllly long entry and the whole thing got deleted!!!!!! so this is a slightly shorter version one, i think! *

One of my dreams came true last Saturday, 12th Jul 2008! I've obtained a Professional Association of Diving Instructors (PADI) Open Water Diving License! I had the honour of going to Perhentian and completing this course with my BUDDY (in Diving terms) Mr. Chong Yao Jung (or better known as YJ in my blog)!

There were also a few others who tagged along with us and they are my Uncle J, Isaac Adoki & Douglas (who are both Uni of Notts students).

I miss the life of being in the island... the carefree, relaxed, laid-back, chilled out life without the rushing, 'kan-cheong'ing', hustling & bustling, noisy, polluted, sardine packed public transportations, traffic jam life! I don't mind another few more weeks lor....

What made it harder is having fallen in love with Diving & leaving the island! Coming back tired helped by putting me instantly to sleep after Sunday Morning Service but I felt as if I was still floating (neutrally buoyant) and saw many fishes only to realise that I'm still on my bed in my blue colored theme room! I exchanged stories with YJ and he too agrees about dreaming even after a few days!

We always ended up sleeping by 12midnite and woke up after 8 hours of sleep. We had 2 dives everyday, we had shower atleat twice a day, we ate our 3 meals and tea, took walks by the sea (day n nite), and studied from our textbooks. We took life so "lepak'ly"....

Anyways, I shall not say much cos I think u'd enjoy pics! I'll have to say that the UNDERWATER WORLD is TOTALLY AWESOME & AMAZING!!! sooooooo mannny pretty & cute fishes! BUT I'm sorry, I'm too lazy to scan the pics I took using the underwater camera so just ty to imagine, k?

Just leaving the jetty at Kuala Besut

breakfast @ Fauna

I wake up to this view everyday! (the view from my room)

My buddy, his favorite background & our textbooks

walking towards that green area = better reception for mobile (mAXIS) hence the phone in my hands...

YJ

Posers

Douglas & Isaac before they left for snorkelling

before our dinner (notice there's 3 shades on my arm! haha)

God's creation: sand, sea, sun, trees... this was taken in the morning!

YJ preparing for marathon

me - chilling as usual lah!

YJ and Uncle J

Preparing our dive equipments before heading to sea

BRWAF check aka Buddy Check.
B: BCD
R: Releases
W: Weights
A: Air
F: Final OK!

So, that's the final Ok! All geared up... ready to go!

with our instructor - En. Azmi

Our last morning, the day we were leaving, was the day we do our last dive, test our skills in the water & have our theory exam!

YJ busy studying in the morning

Learning to use compass for underwater navigation ( before leaving for our last dive!)

Our exam!! hahaha... which we passed with 3 mistakes... :)

And finally... we bid goodbye to Abang Mie, Abang Di and everyone else in Fauna Beach Chalet and left for Kuala Besut. It was mixed feelings: happy cos I've obtained a diving license BUT sad to leave the beautiful island!

Since we had almost 4 hours till our bus came, we had tea and walked around and finally decided to makan our dinner by the sea...

yours truly

a group pic...

with my Uncle Jeyan!

With Douglas & Isaac

Beauty... indeed a sight to behold!

i like the background.... and hahaha, the 2nd pic - YJ's facial expression is just soo funny!

Finally, it was time to get to the bus stop! We sadly left Kuala Besut with plans of returning to this beautiful Island! It's back to the stressful, hectic life in KL/PJ (for YJ) and Kajang/Semenyih(for me)!

My buddy YJ & I

Hope you enjoyed this entry... pictures after sooo long! hahaha... good nite people!

signed off by yours truly,

~ My favorite pic ~