I didn't choose to be what I am today... I am still learning from everyday experience & it is very helpful. I didn't choose to be a dominant kinda' person...I didn't choose to be bossy and I don't consider myself so! If it is something I care or am asked to do, I will put in my all to carry it through... If you ask me to go for a meeting, I'll do my best to come planned. If you don't know your stuff, I'm not the kind to tell you off... Today, I had a good time with friends and loved ones.. BUT, after a meeting held this week, I felt something was wrong. Today, I found out the reasons to it. The fact that I'm a much closer friend to one party makes it look as if the person defends me. Well, apparently, during that meeting that was held few days back, I was considered a person who is bossy, who talks authoritatively, who talks as if everyone else is useless and stupid and only I know my thing, who talks as if she talks to a small kid, etc... I was shocked to hear this because I had no intentions what so ever to be judged in such a manner... Yes, I am direct - that includes facial expressions & speeches... especially if the need is there to be direct. I was told it's a meeting - so I be professional and carry out my role in the best possible way with no intentions to hurt anyone. I guess, there's NO WAY in satisfying everyone. If people can't accept me - too bad for them... I know that no matter how much hurt I am by hearing this, eventually I'd hv forgiven and carried on with life. But, I'm at a situation now where I feel really sad that the first meeting ONLY and I've already offended people... No where to throw my frustrationa! No point explaining myself...! Best was chill with friends & 'screwdrivers' but I can only pray and ask God to help me to face such people/friends again.... Cos, there's bound to be more meeitings! I would indeed give my best BUT if people can't accept it - i guess the decision is up to them! I'm feeling quite hurt & troubled at this whole issue hence this entry... Plus, the night was supposed to end well but I guess all good things have a possibility of ending slightly badly! :( If you ever read this, my apologies to you! I seriously DIDn"T INTEND on hurting you or anyone else/.. I can't believe you considered me as such a person. As far as I can remember, I spoke like how I usually speak. If you can't accept me, it's ok... I will understand. If you think I should change, I guess it's my nature and I've been produced and trained to be like this so you'll have to bear with it... I'm sorry! Just needed a place to thorw out my thoughts and I guess this is the best way! rgds,
Shanti | 
